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Post by napoleon on Sept 28, 2007 20:14:09 GMT 1
A vicar, a doctor and a Sergeant Major (guess who?) were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The Sergeant Major fumed, "What's with these poofs? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. Hey, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The vicar said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The Sergeant Major said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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Post by napoleon on Sept 28, 2007 20:16:22 GMT 1
A Sergeant Major (guess who yet again?) was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The Sergeant Major took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again the Sergeant Major took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The Sergeant Major said, "Look I'm an Sergeant Major. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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Post by Achtung!! on Sept 28, 2007 20:45:44 GMT 1
Duck and cover lads - theres going to be handbags at ten paces any minute now....
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Post by eric on Sept 28, 2007 20:59:08 GMT 1
Helmets ON!!!!
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Post by napoleon on Sept 28, 2007 21:13:02 GMT 1
I bet he won't even find this place!!! ;D ;D
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Post by nemesis on Sept 28, 2007 22:43:47 GMT 1
LOL! Napoleon. you obviously had a bad Sgt. Maj experience as a Guardsman and it's made you a bitter man, lol. Even so, Napoleon still found it in himself to make me a very generous offer over the phone tonight. He told me he thought I might be interested in the one bedroom property he recently bought near Porto Banus in Spain as an investment. he told me the purchase was completed yesterday and he thought it was time to let me Know in case I was interested in a cheap holiday. He said it's available at weekends or for the week, whichever is best for me. he said he was giving me first shot at it to see how it goes before offering it to the rest of you guys. Initially Napoleon will be handling bookings himself, until he finds an agent in the area to manage the property. It sounded like a great deal as he offered it to me for only £50.00 for a weekend and £120 for the week. he explained it's only a one bed on the first floor, (no lift) but has great sea views etc. He's just emailed me a photo, so I can make my mind up and let him know if interested. So what do ya think, guys........?
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Post by napoleon on Sept 28, 2007 23:00:09 GMT 1
Which ladder is the Fire Exit??? ;D ;D
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Post by nemesis on Sept 28, 2007 23:11:49 GMT 1
Methinks it's prolly the one furthest away from the chip pan, matey. ;D
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Post by napoleon on Sept 28, 2007 23:26:23 GMT 1
Hi Nem, I just remember the name of the caravan, HIGHLINE!!! ;D
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Post by Mark on Sept 29, 2007 2:01:02 GMT 1
When's the best time to sell land to a warmongering Frenchman ??
When the tide is out !! ;D
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Post by nemesis on Sept 29, 2007 21:40:09 GMT 1
LOL! Ol Napoleon gunna gitya fer thatun.
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Post by yoddhâ on Sept 29, 2007 22:46:08 GMT 1
LMFAO!!!
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Post by napoleon on Sept 29, 2007 23:10:29 GMT 1
Answer 2: when an Englishman has just drawn his month's wages!!!
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Post by nemesis on Sept 30, 2007 0:43:07 GMT 1
You forgettin'. We Englishmen don't get wages any more. We get an allowance.
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Post by napoleon on Sept 30, 2007 13:12:04 GMT 1
Sorry Nem, forgot you get Old Age Pension! ;D ;D
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